When you have a child who was not with you from before he or she was born, when you don’t share memories of those first movements in the womb, when you don’t have pictures of your belly growing or video of their first coos, you cling to what you do have.
One of the ways I do that is by remembering significant dates. These dates don’t call for a party with balloons and streamers. But, they are significant nonetheless. Perhaps they are even more significant than the balloons-and-streamers dates. They make me take pause. Just stop and remember with the One who remembers all of those dates and then some. And, smile.
Some of these dates will be on our calendar every year–the day we got the call about Chen Mei Yue and saw her sweet face for the first time, the day we met her for the first time and received her into our arms, the day we arrived home and she met her brothers and sister and we were completed.
Today is not one of those days. Today is different. We won’t recognize it again. It’s just today.
383. Lydia lived 383 days without us. And, now, today, she has lived 383 with us. Starting tomorrow, she will have lived with us longer than she lived without us.
I’ve heard that real attachment takes about as long as your child lived without you. I always thought that was sort of arbitrary. For a 2 year old, does it take 2 years to attach? A 3 year old, 3 years? But, here we are, 383 days after we received her when she was 383 days old. And, maybe there is something to that “rule.”
Our attachment is still growing, maturing with new experiences, made clear through times like my weekend away when I really missed my baby and realized that she missed me too. But, I know it’s real. And, there’s something that just increases its clarity even more knowing that we are now on the plus side, the “more” side of the calendar.
She’s ours. And, she’s not going anywhere….in a matter of speaking.
That is amazing that you counted and realized that. You go girl.
What an important landmark that is! Worth celebrating.
Ruby
What a sweet post, and a wonderful day to recognize. Love that you are moving on to the more than she was without you time.
Congratulations on a very big “just today.”
what a wonderful day!!! Praise God! I can’t wait to have those special dates with our China blessing!
That is a big milestone. Very wonderful that you have reached it.
Adorable pictures.
This is a great milestone and I remember when we hit that one with Grant. Unfortunately, we won’t hit it anytime soon with Jake. I know he loves us very much as he reminds me at bedtime that he likes his new mommy and daddy, but I can’t help but wonder if his heart pulls when he talks about his Chinese foster parents. (Sigh)
Congratulations! That (and all that it represents) is really something to celebrate.
Somehow I knew exactly what this post would be about when I saw the title. It really is a huge milestone. I’m glad to hear that the attachment adage seems to be true.
We won’t reach that milestone until Matthew is 5 years old, and while I don’t want to wish time away, I am looking forward to it.
It’s waaaaay more than a matter of speaking Kelly. This is a perfect day to recognize … warms my heart to read of you talking about your daughter this way. So much love … what a blessing!
What a great way to remember. Such a cutie, she is.
I have also celebrated in my heart this milestone with my children!
She is so adorable … love that last picture.
I love this! What a sweet thought.
Oh I SO SO counted down the days until this day too with my sweeties! For me, it was a mountain of time to climb, and marked and celebrated. Nice to know I’m not the only one that noted this day.
Congratulations! Blessings indeed!
Nancy
I absolutely agree to this unspoken “rule”!! It is definitely a milestone that we look forward to reaching. Of course, I think there is attachment before this (uh, it IS called a process!)
Happy 383 with Lydia – heres to Forever!!
Celebrating this milestone with you! What a special time. Such a blessing to hear of her growing attachment. She is a doll and that picture of your girls holding hands…well…it made me tear up.
Thanks for sharing that Kelly…we are just making our plans to travel and bring home our Thea. Looks like it will be 380 days into her life when we meet her…can’t wait to be on the ‘more’ side of the calendar with our little girl too!
Gayle :)
I remember celebrating that day for Sophia too! It was such a special day to me! She had no idea the importance of that milestone in her life. We look forward to both Parker’s and Piper’s special day too!!!
precious…